Topics of my meditations today: sexuality as realization of the instinctive power and its religious symbols. Science, father/mother complex and religion (Father God and Mother Church). Celibacy as an answer to the complex. Rituals and the reality. Wholeness: return to the basis of being. The process of evolution as re-connection (re-ligio). The "Unitarian world" realized in natural sciences and technology. Including: the mystery of the Holy Trinity: oneness in the Trinity meaning: oneness of the Self. They tied their horses to these rings. You can see them all over the town. In the background the sunlight is reflected on the Powell's.

For a few weeks I've been reading another book Pat gave me. Jon Krakauer: Into Thin Air. It is about climbing Mt. Everest. (For me this also seems to be a symbol.)

Tonight I've been invited to Ingrid and Henry for dinner. Chicken with rice and salad. Before dinner: discussion about religion, my experiences: Jung lecture. Next step: Freudian libido-theory and religion. It seems Henry became interested in HGP, he said he would like to attend their meetings. After dinner: an old western movie with John Wayne (a favourite of Henry's, too).

After we talked I took a bike ride to Fred Meyer's. This time I used my card. It worked, you need to check my account ($18).

I was writing and then took a walk in Lloyd Center. Did Christmas shoppings.

Worship service. Bell choir. Cathy Cartwright tells the story of John Murray, the first Universalist minister.

Dr. Mark Morrison-Reed tells about his own story, how he converted to the Universalist religion from Unitarianism: Dragged Kicking and Screaming into Heaven. Enews: Early in the 19th century Universalism swept across our young nation finding a popularity it never again achieved. Is it time for us to return to that message? God's love brooks no resistance. Why is there so much controversy on God? What is God? Mark's answer: the unknowable.

Meanwhile I'm thinking on the connection of Freudian libido theory and symbolism, psychology and theology.

From 3 p.m. recommended by the Humanists of Greater Portland: United Nations Conference: 61st anniversary of Declaration of Human Rights. International audience. Conference is opened by Gwen Barnard scientologist minister. Opening prayer: Gujzar Ahmed. Video: history of human rights. Lotus Dance: thai "princesses". Poster contest winner announcement.

Rights in Togo. Koffi Dessou, Executive Assistant, Office of Human Relations, City of Portland. He tells his life story in Togo. He has a heavy accent, I have a hard time understanding it. Boys from the neighbouring village came stalking their older sisters. He and his brother threw stones at them, and didn't understand why. His brother perished in a prison. He was sold as a slave. Became human rights fighter from business man. Accomplished to pass the law to punish the slave trade. He sums up the meaning of his life: you cannot forget the bad memories, but you can forgive by investing the pain in the work to prevent these things from happening to others.

Scott Bickford & Gary Lapado, John Lennon: Imagine.

7:30 p.m.: Reed College Kaul Auditorium: America Sings! Classical pieces and afro-american spirituals by American composers.

I was thinking on my experiences yesterday and the day before. Meaning of several dreams became obvious. As I was walking on the campus I recalled an old experience and realized the meaning of the dogma: before going to heaven Jesus Christ "alighted to hell" (self-integration). Understanding the psychological meaning of the dogma separates it from the historical person. Today I walked a lot. I calculated: I walk every day about 10-15 miles in average. Today it must have been even 20. I missed the bus, instead standing in the cold wind I ran about 6 stops. Enjoyed it.

Don corrected the proposal and sent it through. I adjusted it and sent him back again. They are out tonight. I made myself some waffles.

Saturday, from 9:30 to 2:30 workshop on dreams. I say hello to Pam who is at the reception table. Similar audience, I meet again the two therapists from the church. Take a seat next to a middle aged woman. She is also a therapist. She knows the UU, they are well known in the city. She gives me a chocolate.

(Next to us on a coach: 2 men and a woman. Diversity: one of the men sitting cross-legged, the other has his nails painted red, the woman is beyond 250 pounds.)

They distribute some papers: Exercise Manual and Orientational Priciples: Identify the setting; Identify the psychic dominant; Translate this function; Ground the image;, Develop the moral imperative; Prediction and correction; The Gradient; Mantras. Exercises: analyses of dreams.

The nature of symbols is important. Examples: Going to the beach to take a swim in the sea. A shark fin shows up. The sea is the subconscious, the shark's fin is a symbol of a life threatening danger. It warns me not to proceed. Snorkelling in shallow water. An octopus shows up, I become frightened. Meaning: the octopus is harmless, the water is shallow, I can proceed.

Pursuing: escape from myself. Weird landscape: I feel myself alien. The house is also a symbol of myself. (Jung's dream of a house with many storeys. Bones in the cellar - Freud's interpretation: "You wish to kill me". Jung's interpretation: the ancient basis of the personal psyche, the collective subconscious. On the other hand Freud was also right: Jung got rid of him as an authority.) Death of someone close: letting go of the identification. I'm not prepared for exam: I'm not ready for the next stage in life or analysis. Nakedness: clothes are my persona, I need to get rid of it.

The kundalini power rising on the 7 chakras means realization of stages of spiritual evolution, corresponding to the 7 planets of the solar system - the oneness of the psyche and cosmic reality. Mother complex: we spent too much time in the maternal protection. Getting rid of it is leaving material safety, a heroic step. Car: symbol of the ego: takes me from here to there. Pushing the break with no avail: I can't control the events. In the past the horse had the same role: understanding old symbols in literature. Flowing water: direction of the evolution.

Identifying the physical illnesses with spiritual problems is difficult: connecting the two levels is not easy. Recurring illnesses on the other hand could mean psychological problems. (Cancer could mean a superfluous ego.)

Moral: 1. Pick an image; 2. Define its function; 3. Apply it to yourself (grow and change); 4. Find the mythological parallels; 5. Identify it in the context of the present times and live accordingly.

At Portland State University with Joe. They discuss the topic of the treatise they will have to write. Teacher suggests one. Asks a student to read the Preface: the American nation is compared to a family with many members. She writes on the table: "FAMILY", "NATION". Asks students to name their associations. Compares the two ideas for half an hour.

I realize: for the Americans the multicultural society still means a challenge, and they are still looking for the answer for the oneness of the nation. (For us in Europe "nation" and "ethnicity" are synonims.)

It dawns on me: you have to reverse the problem, in order to realize its true nature. Question is not: how can the multitude become one, but: how is it possible that the one became so diverse? The oneness was before diversity in time. What happened, why did mankind start to use different set of symbols? Babel tower-complex. Here you are: philosophy of religion, linguistics and sociology blending and overlapping. (Cf. ideas like "God is the word." God is a set of words created by a culture. The theory of memes. Richard Dawkins and Saint John.)

End of course. I am sorry. I say goodbye to the alter ego of Sylvester Stallone, who recommends me books on the American Indian culture, and wishes me luck with my project. Nice guy. Reminds me of childhood friends in my village.

8:30 p.m. First United Methodist Church: Morgan Stebbins, M.Div. L.M.S.W.: Dreams of Fate; the Fate of Dreams. Lecture about Jung's dream theory. Big church, two pulpits, huge wooden cross in the background. For me: symbolic setting. Unexpected fulfillment of my dream. The lecturer has a degree in theology and studied zen-buddhism, too (his website).

Introduction: think of a childhood dream. An example: teenage girl dreams of a snake pursuing her in the wild woods, and then in the bedroom.

What is the dream? Symbol. The symbol is real - in a symbolic sense. You dream of loosing your money in the bank: do not rush to withdraw it. It means you are being on a process of self-detachment from your material belongings.

The subconscious is part of the reality and speaks with symbols. It saves you if you listen to it, and destroys you if you supress it. Unconscious content of the psyche is expressed in fate: living out the problem complex. (E.g. you chose the wrong partner from among 1000.)

Morgan compares Jung's theory with Freud's: Freud adheres dogmatically to the unilateral libido theory, Jung is open to other possible explanations. Ironic joke on Freudian theory: Therapist: "- Your problem is that you suppress your libido." "- No, I don't." "- You see..."--- Audience is laughing, I enjoy it: Freud was also right.

Explanation of the snake dream: the snake is an ancient symbol of the instinctive drive (or, the snake throwing its skin: the renewal). Importance of the setting: the wild wood, where untamed animals live. The bedroom also is a symbolic place of instinctive drive. Meaning is obvious. I notice Morgan's clever formulation from the church pulpit. (I notice also my enhanced intuitive abilities in understanding his examples.) After lecture: questions, the mic is carried around.

Walking home: football at PGE Park. I feel happy. Had a good run to the fareless area, and took MAX there.

I didn't join Pat this time for hike, had to do some work for the UPC. I've been home all morning and afternoon. We discussed the book with Don. He is positive it will be published. Suggested that I upload it to the internet too, and start a discussion on the topic. He agreed to mail the proposal.

During the night Camille picked me up and we had dinner in a pizza place. We had a good chat there, and continued it in the church. It was hard to say goodbye, but she will come to visit next year.

Meditation: An Open Heart - Living with Compassion. PROGRAM GUIDE: Living a compassionate life, "doing unto others as you would have them do unto you," is not as easy as it sounds. Sometimes our emotions or perceptions prevent us from experiencing "the golden rule". In the midst of suffering we lose patience, we just want to realize more happiness in our lives. This class explores ways to increase our compassion for ourselves and others. Through discussion, sharing experiences, and altering our perceptions we'll find our way to strengthened spiritual practices. Facilitator: Jim Andrews és Susan Cunningham - are both First Chrch members who serve on the Adult Programs Committee.

Surprize: Susan is one of our hiking partners - only in a different attire! On my way home Ingrid and Henry picked me up. Invited me for a dinner and movie.

Pam sent an e-mail: asked the Oregon Friends of Jung to let me participate on workshop for free. They will! Good news, I am very glad! This is a special opportunity ($85!). Pam forwards me the e-mail.

Hi Everyone, I talked with Carol today about inviting a visiting Hungarian translator to our board dinner. He is staying with friends of mine working on translating the first Unitarian written text from old Hungarian to English. Anyway at dinners I discovered he is very interested in and informed about Jung's work. When I invited him to the lecture/workshop he became very excited that it was open to the public (I guess not true in Hungary) and said this was the one thing he had wanted to accomplish before leaving next week... to meet with people involved with Jungian psychology. Carol said there was not room at the dinner (I thought he could meet with people much more informed than I am) but asked if he was coming to the workshop too. I don't think he can afford the cost so she suggested I float an email to see if we could offer a freebie this one time. Let me know what you all think. He is a very engaging man and talking with him has made me even more aware of how enormously fortunate we in Portland are to have OFJ. Thanks, Pamela