Pilgrim in America

2009-12-16T02:35:00.000-08:00

Departure. We leave the house at 9 a.m. and drive in silence to the airport. Quick farewell at the door. I go to the counter and wrestle with the machine rather discombobulated. Eventually, with the help of the telephone assistant and a second one I pass the exam.

Checking in: a nice elderly woman. Hands me back my ticket and smiles. She seems familiar. I look into her eyes and have a feeling she knows who I am, and what I was there for...

2009-12-15T08:26:00.000-08:00

Last day. The same routine: exercises, 40 push-ups next to the bed. Take a short run, 50 push-ups next to the garage, and a walk around the block. I calculated: during the 10 weeks I walked 100 miles, biked another 100. I took part on 70 various programs, worship services, courses, exhibitions, concerts, meals and hikes. Last talk with Rose.

Thinking on communism: denial of rights and their psychological consequences.

Dinner with Julie and Randy. I talk about my experiences, especially about the Jung lecture. Explain the difference between the theory of Freud and Jung: libido as power and archetypes as ideals. We also talked about the peculiarities and difficulties of learning foreign languages: same word with different intonation => different meaning. Julie learns Chinese. She has a good example: "ma".

Julie drives me home. On our way I sum up the meaning of my trip. Every day had its own message. We talk about the Jungian principle of synchronicity, recalling few instances in his autobiography. Unexpected passing away of my father and my inheritance which made this trip possible.

I invite Don and Pat to my favourite place: the Elmer's. Last dinner. Summing up experiences. (I note: in Budapest they won't believe I stayed with them for free for 10 weeks.)

During the night we watch a documentary about the story of Jesus and Christianity on OPB.

I'm thinking on connection of religion and the psycho-philosophy of authority.

2009-12-14T08:17:00.000-08:00

Morning exercises: good to be on the fresh air, good to be here. It is also reassuring that I attained what I had wished.

I packed. Bought a bag in Goodwill. $12.99 on the price tag, they gave it for $6.49. (Later on I checked: a new one is 80-100.)

Pat layed the table for dinner already at noon. She was already cooking at 2:30. I installed Skype on both computers and walked out to Lloyd Center. Strolled in the bookshop, souvenir shop, watched the skaters. Thought about the changes I went through since I've been here.

Meditated on connection between religion, sex and feelings of shame.

At dinner: Ingrid & Henry, John & Mary, Don & Pat, Michael & Susan. Two kinds of vegetarian food + salad. New recipe from the Net, Pat doesn't know its long name. (One of them seems to be mashed squash with grinded walnut and syrup on top.)

After dinner we watched on tv the pictures of all the hikes of the year. Don selected them from all our photos.

Goodbye to hikers.

2009-12-13T07:49:00.000-08:00

Dream: I'm on the top floor of a high building. I wish to go out to the balcony, but the railing can be barely seen. I'm aware it is there, but still I can't see it clearly, so I do not trust it realy exists. I do not dare to go out and lean on it, so that I can take a look around. I'm afraid of the the deep abyss beyond. I sit down and try to reach out and feel the railing with my feet.

Before worship service I meet Marilyn. She told me about the Saturday lecture, in which there was mentioning about Unitarians in Transylvania. She was surprized on hearing that for them religion means ethnic identity. Yes, it is true, I say, it is the same as in the case of the early settlers in America. Their ethnic identity included religious denomination, too. The Amish are Germans, aren't they? Met Mark and Lil Hosman, talked about how things were going with my translation.

Worship service, Dr. Mark Morrison-Reed Minister in Residence: Christmas in 114th street.

I was meditating again on the mystery of death of God and the ars poetica of ministry. This teaching of mainstream Christianity had a power in America. And in fact all through Western history. From Apostle Paul to Nietzche; starting a new stage with Freud, followed with modern humanism. The UUA should realize it... I start to become a UU... This worship service was different. After 10 weeks an authoritarian church-image was replaced by a more democratic one, where intellectual approach is more likely to have a place.

After service: Randy and Julie introduce me to their daughter, she is home for holiday from New York. We agree on a last dinner. I thank Katie for receiving me as guest on the programs.

After church: lunch in a restaurant with Don & Pat, Henry & Ingrid. Mike will move over, Pat asks me to stay. At dinner: talk about rev. Mark, his intellectual culture (Washington, Chicago). They bring me a sandwich with toast, and sugar powder on it. We talk about the kids' iPhone craze. They text even under the table, without looking at the keyboard.

After lunch: Powell's. Bought two more Erich Fromm. I was reading: Patanjali, Vatsyayana... Three more days. Loitered in downtown, listened to the guitarist, with a feeling that I was part of that UU intellectual religious spirituality present all over the city.
Lately, I started reading Fromm (The Dogma of Christ). Here, it is different: you can feel the need. It is as if you studied engineering. They should introduce it in schools. In the past religious education had the same role. There are many denominational schools in Hungary, too. During the communist era psychology was a banned science in Romania. In a dictatorship neurotics are enemies of the system, because they are freedom fighters. On the main square young guys hand me a piece of paper: "GOD SAYS PLEASE DO NOT GO TO HELL".

Dinner: the last Hungarian sausage. Afterwards I went to Ross to buy something for our friends.

2009-12-12T07:40:00.000-08:00

Dream: I'm on the top floor of a high falling building, see the scenery passing by the windows.

My meditations today: death of God (Nietzche) was the beginning of birth of reason, coincided with the birth of psychoanalysis (1900). An implicit contradiction in analysis: you are supposed to exist in present not in the past - only by being aware of this you can do effective analysis. Psychology seems a feminine science because it deals with emotions (sensuality). On the other hand the framework is given by the reality. This corresponds to the male principle of reason. To which the problem of relativity of reality is also added. History of religion is relationship of instinct and reality, implying the struggle for freedom from the matter. (Jung: from darkness to light.) The Self-ideal: God as Father means a patriarch; God as Mother a matriarch. Both imply oligarchy. Psychology implies democracy: a new stage in awareness.

Our childhood situations repeat themselves in adulthood. Religion: father/mother complex, science: adulthood. Its attainment implies struggle with the cultural system and integration of the opposite side (animus/anima). Freedom for man means realization of the male identity. Intergration of the father-ideal, identification.

During the night we had a dinner together with all the family. A big old restaurant. A chain in US, 40 years old. This is the headquarters. Waited for 45 minutes, until a Star Wars device in Don's hand started blinking.

After dinner: Aladdin Theater, a benefit concert for Friends of the Children: Trail Band. Christmas and other songs (classical, blues, pop, rock) and Scott Parker - as 'Harold'. I notice how much people need to laugh: here, in the church, wherever they can. The star of the show seems to be a guitarist virtuoso in bright red: Doug Fraser. He must be 70 but shows off as a 20. Church member, Don and Pat know him. Not this aspect of him, though...

Ideas popping up: the self-sacrificing God is the most important realization of Christianity. Unitarians dropped it with original sin, thus missing a main point: the psychological aspect, retaining the ideological oneness. Thus, unfortunately many identify religion with outward symbols, missing the dynamic content and the therapeutical role. And the real ars poetica of ministry. Same problem as in the time of Francis David.

2009-12-11T07:38:00.000-08:00

Today I raked fallen leaves and cleaned around the house from 9:30 to 2:30. It was good. The weather was great. I was meditating on the idea: when one is ready to leave the nest, one doesn't look back anymore.

Last lunch with Lajos and Sharon in a Thai restaurant. The same vegetable soup: big pieces of cabbage and onion. And a huge spoon. I had a bite of Sharon's chicken. It was extremely spicey, I couldn't stop my running nose afterwards. At Lajos we had a long talk about his childhood memories, the story of their emigration and life in the US. Transylvanian and Hungarian political and religious problems. It was very good, I felt as if at home.

Hungarians in US gather each year in Ohio, around 150.

2009-12-10T07:29:00.000-08:00

Today I read it through again the proposal corrections made by Don. After we talked, I left to buy some batteries. Strolled in the shops and thought about what we have been talking.

Here people are searching for wholeness, you can feel that. That's what matters in the opposite sex, too: the wholeness of personality. Freud was thinking in instinctive power, Jung in archetypes. The two are in a content-and-form-relationship. We use both in self-expression. The power is universal, yet it takes shape in sexes. This is moulded by our parents, and we imitate their role in our partnerships.

19 p.m. Dr. Mark Morrison-Reed: The Perversity of Embracing Diversity. Talk Given at General Assembly 2009. Enews: There is a surprising, and painful truth behind Unitarian Universalist efforts to become more diverse. This truth must begin with an honest look at who we are and why we are who we are, and it ends in a conundrum but not without hope. If Unitarian Universalists really want to change, accepting the truth is the only place to start. Torn between our reality and our aspirations what are we to do?

The UUA became more and more liberal during the decades, with more diverse membership. (6-7% of the ministers are LGBT.)

I was thinking as I walked toward home on the Freudian theory and religion as a psycho-sexual problem. It is unusually cold. Marilyn's pipes were frozen. Ours too. I saw her there on the lecture, and many more friends. Don and Pat try to fix the problem blowing hot air at the wall from the top of a ladder.

My time is approaching to its end. I think my mission have been accomplished. The Jung lecture was even more than I hoped for.

2009-12-09T07:21:00.000-08:00

Topics of my meditations today: sexuality as realization of the instinctive power and its religious symbols. Science, father/mother complex and religion (Father God and Mother Church). Celibacy as an answer to the complex. Rituals and the reality. Wholeness: return to the basis of being. The process of evolution as re-connection (re-ligio). The "Unitarian world" realized in natural sciences and technology. Including: the mystery of the Holy Trinity: oneness in the Trinity meaning: oneness of the Self. They tied their horses to these rings. You can see them all over the town. In the background the sunlight is reflected on the Powell's.

For a few weeks I've been reading another book Pat gave me. Jon Krakauer: Into Thin Air. It is about climbing Mt. Everest. (For me this also seems to be a symbol.)

Tonight I've been invited to Ingrid and Henry for dinner. Chicken with rice and salad. Before dinner: discussion about religion, my experiences: Jung lecture. Next step: Freudian libido-theory and religion. It seems Henry became interested in HGP, he said he would like to attend their meetings. After dinner: an old western movie with John Wayne (a favourite of Henry's, too).

2009-12-08T07:19:00.000-08:00

After we talked I took a bike ride to Fred Meyer's. This time I used my card. It worked, you need to check my account ($18).

2009-12-07T07:18:00.000-08:00

I was writing and then took a walk in Lloyd Center. Did Christmas shoppings.

2009-12-06T06:16:00.000-08:00

Worship service. Bell choir. Cathy Cartwright tells the story of John Murray, the first Universalist minister.

Dr. Mark Morrison-Reed tells about his own story, how he converted to the Universalist religion from Unitarianism: Dragged Kicking and Screaming into Heaven. Enews: Early in the 19th century Universalism swept across our young nation finding a popularity it never again achieved. Is it time for us to return to that message? God's love brooks no resistance. Why is there so much controversy on God? What is God? Mark's answer: the unknowable.

Meanwhile I'm thinking on the connection of Freudian libido theory and symbolism, psychology and theology.

From 3 p.m. recommended by the Humanists of Greater Portland: United Nations Conference: 61st anniversary of Declaration of Human Rights. International audience. Conference is opened by Gwen Barnard scientologist minister. Opening prayer: Gujzar Ahmed. Video: history of human rights. Lotus Dance: thai "princesses". Poster contest winner announcement.

Rights in Togo. Koffi Dessou, Executive Assistant, Office of Human Relations, City of Portland. He tells his life story in Togo. He has a heavy accent, I have a hard time understanding it. Boys from the neighbouring village came stalking their older sisters. He and his brother threw stones at them, and didn't understand why. His brother perished in a prison. He was sold as a slave. Became human rights fighter from business man. Accomplished to pass the law to punish the slave trade. He sums up the meaning of his life: you cannot forget the bad memories, but you can forgive by investing the pain in the work to prevent these things from happening to others.

Scott Bickford & Gary Lapado, John Lennon: Imagine.

7:30 p.m.: Reed College Kaul Auditorium: America Sings! Classical pieces and afro-american spirituals by American composers.

I was thinking on my experiences yesterday and the day before. Meaning of several dreams became obvious. As I was walking on the campus I recalled an old experience and realized the meaning of the dogma: before going to heaven Jesus Christ "alighted to hell" (self-integration). Understanding the psychological meaning of the dogma separates it from the historical person. Today I walked a lot. I calculated: I walk every day about 10-15 miles in average. Today it must have been even 20. I missed the bus, instead standing in the cold wind I ran about 6 stops. Enjoyed it.

Don corrected the proposal and sent it through. I adjusted it and sent him back again. They are out tonight. I made myself some waffles.

2009-12-05T05:31:00.000-08:00

Saturday, from 9:30 to 2:30 workshop on dreams. I say hello to Pam who is at the reception table. Similar audience, I meet again the two therapists from the church. Take a seat next to a middle aged woman. She is also a therapist. She knows the UU, they are well known in the city. She gives me a chocolate.

(Next to us on a coach: 2 men and a woman. Diversity: one of the men sitting cross-legged, the other has his nails painted red, the woman is beyond 250 pounds.)

They distribute some papers: Exercise Manual and Orientational Priciples: Identify the setting; Identify the psychic dominant; Translate this function; Ground the image;, Develop the moral imperative; Prediction and correction; The Gradient; Mantras. Exercises: analyses of dreams.

The nature of symbols is important. Examples: Going to the beach to take a swim in the sea. A shark fin shows up. The sea is the subconscious, the shark's fin is a symbol of a life threatening danger. It warns me not to proceed. Snorkelling in shallow water. An octopus shows up, I become frightened. Meaning: the octopus is harmless, the water is shallow, I can proceed.

Pursuing: escape from myself. Weird landscape: I feel myself alien. The house is also a symbol of myself. (Jung's dream of a house with many storeys. Bones in the cellar - Freud's interpretation: "You wish to kill me". Jung's interpretation: the ancient basis of the personal psyche, the collective subconscious. On the other hand Freud was also right: Jung got rid of him as an authority.) Death of someone close: letting go of the identification. I'm not prepared for exam: I'm not ready for the next stage in life or analysis. Nakedness: clothes are my persona, I need to get rid of it.

The kundalini power rising on the 7 chakras means realization of stages of spiritual evolution, corresponding to the 7 planets of the solar system - the oneness of the psyche and cosmic reality. Mother complex: we spent too much time in the maternal protection. Getting rid of it is leaving material safety, a heroic step. Car: symbol of the ego: takes me from here to there. Pushing the break with no avail: I can't control the events. In the past the horse had the same role: understanding old symbols in literature. Flowing water: direction of the evolution.

Identifying the physical illnesses with spiritual problems is difficult: connecting the two levels is not easy. Recurring illnesses on the other hand could mean psychological problems. (Cancer could mean a superfluous ego.)

Moral: 1. Pick an image; 2. Define its function; 3. Apply it to yourself (grow and change); 4. Find the mythological parallels; 5. Identify it in the context of the present times and live accordingly.

2009-12-04T04:25:00.000-08:00

At Portland State University with Joe. They discuss the topic of the treatise they will have to write. Teacher suggests one. Asks a student to read the Preface: the American nation is compared to a family with many members. She writes on the table: "FAMILY", "NATION". Asks students to name their associations. Compares the two ideas for half an hour.

I realize: for the Americans the multicultural society still means a challenge, and they are still looking for the answer for the oneness of the nation. (For us in Europe "nation" and "ethnicity" are synonims.)

It dawns on me: you have to reverse the problem, in order to realize its true nature. Question is not: how can the multitude become one, but: how is it possible that the one became so diverse? The oneness was before diversity in time. What happened, why did mankind start to use different set of symbols? Babel tower-complex. Here you are: philosophy of religion, linguistics and sociology blending and overlapping. (Cf. ideas like "God is the word." God is a set of words created by a culture. The theory of memes. Richard Dawkins and Saint John.)

End of course. I am sorry. I say goodbye to the alter ego of Sylvester Stallone, who recommends me books on the American Indian culture, and wishes me luck with my project. Nice guy. Reminds me of childhood friends in my village.

8:30 p.m. First United Methodist Church: Morgan Stebbins, M.Div. L.M.S.W.: Dreams of Fate; the Fate of Dreams. Lecture about Jung's dream theory. Big church, two pulpits, huge wooden cross in the background. For me: symbolic setting. Unexpected fulfillment of my dream. The lecturer has a degree in theology and studied zen-buddhism, too (his website).

Introduction: think of a childhood dream. An example: teenage girl dreams of a snake pursuing her in the wild woods, and then in the bedroom.

What is the dream? Symbol. The symbol is real - in a symbolic sense. You dream of loosing your money in the bank: do not rush to withdraw it. It means you are being on a process of self-detachment from your material belongings.

The subconscious is part of the reality and speaks with symbols. It saves you if you listen to it, and destroys you if you supress it. Unconscious content of the psyche is expressed in fate: living out the problem complex. (E.g. you chose the wrong partner from among 1000.)

Morgan compares Jung's theory with Freud's: Freud adheres dogmatically to the unilateral libido theory, Jung is open to other possible explanations. Ironic joke on Freudian theory: Therapist: "- Your problem is that you suppress your libido." "- No, I don't." "- You see..."--- Audience is laughing, I enjoy it: Freud was also right.

Explanation of the snake dream: the snake is an ancient symbol of the instinctive drive (or, the snake throwing its skin: the renewal). Importance of the setting: the wild wood, where untamed animals live. The bedroom also is a symbolic place of instinctive drive. Meaning is obvious. I notice Morgan's clever formulation from the church pulpit. (I notice also my enhanced intuitive abilities in understanding his examples.) After lecture: questions, the mic is carried around.

Walking home: football at PGE Park. I feel happy. Had a good run to the fareless area, and took MAX there.

2009-12-03T03:11:00.000-08:00

I didn't join Pat this time for hike, had to do some work for the UPC. I've been home all morning and afternoon. We discussed the book with Don. He is positive it will be published. Suggested that I upload it to the internet too, and start a discussion on the topic. He agreed to mail the proposal.

During the night Camille picked me up and we had dinner in a pizza place. We had a good chat there, and continued it in the church. It was hard to say goodbye, but she will come to visit next year.

Meditation: An Open Heart - Living with Compassion. PROGRAM GUIDE: Living a compassionate life, "doing unto others as you would have them do unto you," is not as easy as it sounds. Sometimes our emotions or perceptions prevent us from experiencing "the golden rule". In the midst of suffering we lose patience, we just want to realize more happiness in our lives. This class explores ways to increase our compassion for ourselves and others. Through discussion, sharing experiences, and altering our perceptions we'll find our way to strengthened spiritual practices. Facilitator: Jim Andrews és Susan Cunningham - are both First Chrch members who serve on the Adult Programs Committee.

Surprize: Susan is one of our hiking partners - only in a different attire! On my way home Ingrid and Henry picked me up. Invited me for a dinner and movie.

Pam sent an e-mail: asked the Oregon Friends of Jung to let me participate on workshop for free. They will! Good news, I am very glad! This is a special opportunity ($85!). Pam forwards me the e-mail.

Hi Everyone, I talked with Carol today about inviting a visiting Hungarian translator to our board dinner. He is staying with friends of mine working on translating the first Unitarian written text from old Hungarian to English. Anyway at dinners I discovered he is very interested in and informed about Jung's work. When I invited him to the lecture/workshop he became very excited that it was open to the public (I guess not true in Hungary) and said this was the one thing he had wanted to accomplish before leaving next week... to meet with people involved with Jungian psychology. Carol said there was not room at the dinner (I thought he could meet with people much more informed than I am) but asked if he was coming to the workshop too. I don't think he can afford the cost so she suggested I float an email to see if we could offer a freebie this one time. Let me know what you all think. He is a very engaging man and talking with him has made me even more aware of how enormously fortunate we in Portland are to have OFJ. Thanks, Pamela

2009-12-02T02:43:00.000-08:00

Morning: matter and spirit, reason and instinct, money and sex. The two principles making up the wholeness. And mixing.

I read again Don's corrections, added some more. I decided to leave the book proposal here and ask him to mail it for me to Beacon Press. Things start to take shape. I was meditating on the taboo-nature of the theological science. Relationship of authority and ignorance.

At the PSU again. Two young female students perched yoga-style on the top of the table. Teacher in the opposite end of the room, and the rest of the people around, the all of us making a circle. Frederick Douglas and Abraham Lincoln on slavehood. A leasure discussion, everyone adds his, or her own insight, and compares them with the great thinker's. Teacher asks questions, points out interesting contradictions. I admire the relaxed and civilized manner of the discourse. (Just like the traffic.) And still, everything is running according to schedule.

I compare it with my past experiences: studies with analysis of reality vs. denial of it. I discover the ability to follow the context in the line of arguments.

Lincoln opposed the introduction of the slavehood in the new states. We had a lentil soup with Joe after class and he pointed me out those states on a map he drew upside down on a piece of paper between our plates. We recalled Huckleberry Finn and Uncle Tom's Cabin, featuring runaway slaves.

The weather is clear but rather cool. I stepped off MAX at the market to take a walk. Meditation: realizing the human being behind the authority means releasing love of its captivity.

During dinner I had an interesting talk with Pam, who is member of Oregon Friends of Jung. She is reading Memories, Dreams and Recollections. We recalled interesting and funny episodes (giggled on the case of the "fallen turd"). She recommended me a lecture on Friday: Dreams of Fate, the Fate of Dreams, given by an analyst from New York. It will be followed by a workshop Saturday. I am very glad to hear that, the very opportunity I hoped for. The lecture is $12, I will definitely go.

During dinner I discover: sticking to facts is the best way of having an enjoyable conversation. Chatting doesn't necesarrily mean talking on incoherent trivialities.

Today is about discovering reason.

2009-12-01T02:08:00.000-08:00

I took a walk on Broadway to the South. Thinking on differences between man and woman. Attachment to material things. Problem-complex of attachment and detachment. Feminine sensuality and attachment. Male intellect and detachment. Self-sacrifice and self-destruction. Male spirituality and the process of reformation: self-distinguishment and self-integration. Female spirituality, and materialness: anya-anyag (Hungarian), mater-materia (Latin), mother-matter. The reason of the ancient belief: the woman has no soul. And: "man is the head of woman" (Francis David). The role of feminine principle, reproduction of life, and the masculine principle: evolution. The freedom of evolution, basic need of spiritual equilibrium. Male identity and mother-complex. I conclude: the essence of the male identity is realized in awareness (distinguishment), the female in sensuality (identification). Both mean the connection of reality and instinct. I've been here for 8 weeks now.

I bought a bread, a cake and two Snickers. I decided not to attend Returning to Ritual. This idea sounds exactly the opposite of Francis David's, anyway...

I read it through what Don revised. He also added questions to the Overview of the book. Good questions: I need to explain the Trinity in order to be able to explain what Francis David's problem was with this idea. Now, the psychological nature and meaning of the Christian dogma is more obvious.

After 5 I had two hot dog sausages and took a walk toward Lloyd Center. Man needs wholeness. This need is a fact. I entered the bookshop. Lots of books, good to linger among the shelves. Wholeness is being realized in sensuality. This also means detachement from the authorities: from the projections. The individual wholeness means also the universal wholeness, disappearance of cultural isolations. Integration of instinctive power, i.e. of the Self. This is how the Jungian process of "individuation" is being realized. The "natural mind". This way everything makes sense. Psychoanalysis and religion meets here.

Don prepared some Mexican food. Asked me if I wanted to join. It was extremely spicey, I gulped down the cool water to quench the fire. We had icecream afterwards with strawberry jam on top. I had to wipe my nose often. Don told me a story: Once in a camp Yugoslavian and Finnish children were having dinner together. All of the Finns had running noses and none of the Yugoslavians. This also proves we are relatives, concludes Don.

During the night I took a walk, and took some pictures for you of these houses with the Christmas lights on them. America is the place where due to the freedom of all ethnic cultures the connection between the Super Ego and the Instinctive Self is more intimate. This is why relationship of man and woman seems also different, and the status of religion, too. This kind of intimacy makes religion a common topic.

2009-11-30T00:43:00.000-08:00

Going to PSU. On my way there I was meditating on the connection between Francis David's theory, the Freudian castration complex, and the LGBT in churches.

With Joe and Maryann on PSU: The American Intellectual Tradition. This time presented by a different teacher (Dr. Patricia A. Schechter). Joe introduces us to her. She is a middle aged lively woman with curly hair and lots of teeth. She explains ideas with all her body.

One student talks about philosophers Henry David Thoreau from North, and George Fitzhugh from the South: principles on society, economy, slavehood. A second student: man and woman relationship, its role in political thinking in North and South. It was good to be there, I asked the teacher if I could come to the next classes also.

Lunch in a Thai restaurant. I asked for a large bowl of vegetable soup with "meat balls". Big pieces of cabbage, onion and sausage in hot water. Small cakes with slips of paper hidden in them telling me that you are having nice thoughts of me...

Goodbye to Maryann. She is going to leave to Mexico with Camille. I take a short walk with Joe.

Went to the Powell's to buy the American Intellectual Tradition. I bought six more for $38: three Jung, two Fromm, one Frankl. Took them home, came back to the church to attend a lecture. Had an Angus hamburger at MacDonald's.

I had one more hour before church program, so I went back to the Powell's. It is amazing the amount of books they have, and it is a good system. Here's the red room where I spend most of the time:

Freud and Jung have a whole rack. Four years ago I bought here Henry Clarke Warren: Buddhism in Translations. I was looking for it for 20 years. They had it! A single copy. I feel at home. This morning, musing on some issue I marched into the women's restroom, and was taken aback by a female adjusting her makeup in the mirror.

I read for a while and looked at my watch: 7 minutes to 7! Covered half a mile in 7 minutes to the church. The person at the reception already knew why I came, he showed me the way without my asking. Enews:

Back from Afghanistan (Our Peace Action Group invites you to hear Tom A. Peter, a freelance Middle East and war correspondent based in Jordan who writes regularly for The Christian Science Monitor, and Global Post, and has provided ground analysis from Iraq for NPR.

Young guy with an Arabian style beard. He talks about the situation in Afghanistan, how dubious it is the American presence there. Even the humanitarian aid. A power plant built highly over the planned budget, working only with half capacity. Missing electric wire system. Most of the houses having only one bulb. Villages where people have never seen a mirror. A person decapitated for a charge of collaborating with Americans. He received humanitarian aid. Election ballots completed by a few guys who didn't mind the jurnalist taking pictures. Americans reluctant to leave, lest Talibans take over their place. Confusion near Pakistan: travellers harrased with the charge of illegal crossing, 10 miles away from the border. Indian workers paying $2000, denied both work and going back home, staying in a tent, 6 sharing one bed for 2 months. Greg Mortenson is a well-known, and appreciated person in the Middle East. His book is a must read there. His schools are working well, unlike those of the Taliban's.

2009-11-29T23:42:00.000-08:00

Dr. Mark Morrison-Reed Minister in Residence: "Never the Water; Only a Wave" Buddhist sermon: Change is the law of life and our lives like rolling waves heading toward a distant shore. A personal story about how I came to understand the nature of life and eternity.

Afternoon: Temple Baptist Church, the Dickens Carolers Holiday Concert. Patrick is a member, he invited me. Before the show I talked to the young overweight woman next to me. She is a member of a Christian church, that doesn't belong to any denomination. I asked her about their principles and life.

After concert I meet Susan, Patrick and his parents and friends. Cookies and cider in the congregational chamber. Susan asked if I was feeling uncomfortable with the religious songs: I said, one needs to understand them in their own cultural and symbolic context. They have the same message in a different symbolic language. Afterwards I spent some time in the Powell's.

2009-11-28T10:03:00.000-08:00

Reed College, Cooley Art Gallery: The Language of the Nude.

For centuries, the nude body was the highest expression of human aspiration. Religious figures, gods and goddesses, heroes, and even personifications of abstract ideals found visible form in the undraped human figure. This exhibition of 60 rarely seen drawings from the Crocker Art Museum in Sacramento, California, examines the nude its place in the artist's process, and the ideals and desires it expressed in European art. Tracing how artists saw the body, for example the influence of Michelangelo and Raphael in the 16th century and French Academy nudes in the 18th, it also examines the body's context in Christian art, Classical mythology and literary subjects.

Pieces of classical art, with descriptions and analyses. What does the nude symbolize on it: purity, candideness, truth. It was good to linger there. Alone in the world. Read them all.

2009-11-27T09:48:00.000-08:00

I was sitting for a while in Grant park, then took a long walk on Broadwayn and Sandy Boulevard.

Another thanksgiving dinner at Randy's. I had a nice time with their friends, including a person who is half black foot indian. It was a special pleasure to talk to him, I was excited as if I had an exam. We recalled the positive experiences of Lewis and Clark with the black feet tribe (Stephen E. Ambrose: Undaunted Courage). For dessert: two kinds of pumpkin pie. Randy gave a lecture about the iPhone. You can even pour beer in a glass with it and receive ratings.

Don took me home. His daughter works as a guide in New York.

2009-11-26T09:02:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving dinner in Eugene. Driving with Randy, Julie and Charlie. It was raining and there was a traffic jam on I5, we had to take another road. Julie told me about her work. When someone noticed there was something wrong with his neighbor he called and she went to check up on the person. If he seemed too deranged she recommended his treatment. It was the same in communist system. Only, they sometimes recommended the treatment of completely sane people. Artists for example, whose ideals seemed to be disturbing for the regime.

Our hosts: Nancy is a teacher, Will psychologist and musician. They have two young daughters and there are two more guests: a woman and a dentist. We chatted before dinner. Everyone has ideas about religion and spiritual issues, it is a pleasure to listen. Philosophy of Japanese symbols (older daughter learns Japanese for 10 years now). Wondering why vampire movies became so popular. The dentist turns out to be an aspiring philosopher...

Dinner is ready, we take our dishes to the kitchen. Nancy reads Obama's message on the laptop. After dinner talk: Nancy about teaching, one of her daughters about her work, and Randy about an interesting show on TV. Following this, for a while we have arguments on how statistically impossible things can statistically be proved possible. And watch a new craze: flash-mob, on the lap-top.

2009-11-25T09:00:00.000-08:00

Bike ride to Forest Park, NW Portland. On the winding Leif Erikson drive I made 4 miles, then turned back. Too muddy. In spite of this I saw many running and jogging people. I was wondering: how far did they go?

In the afternoon I went to Powell's and bought those two books for Bettina. During the night we had two more hours of Lonely Dove. Don enjoyed the bickering of the two old cowboys, me the two cute pigs running after their wagon.

2009-11-24T08:18:00.000-08:00

I took a bike ride to Columbia and did the loop. Wonderful scenery with the river on the left and the airport on the right side! Planes landing and taking of in short interval toward Mt Hood. I stopped several times to take in the view and take pictures. At the bridge I had an apple, and observed a cormorant standing on a rock in the middle of the water, with his wet wings spread in the feeble sunshine. Got on the bike and left the riverside.

Rode along Fremont street by Lonely Pine Cemetery. Left the main road and admired the nice homes with pumpkins still everywhere.

After I arrived back took a walk toward Lloyd Center, thought I would do my shoppings this time in Safeway. Lots of stuff on the shelfs, an abundance of brands, shapes, colours, smells, I feel overwhelmed. I realize what it must had been like for those who in some way managed to escape from communist Romania, with shops desperately empty all the time. They must have felt like crying, I'm sure...

For dinner: Hungarian sausage. (Pat did some shoppings in that German grocery store again for me.) She took a picture of the table. I'm sure they have a different kind of menu with me here. Afterwards I prepared the dessert: American waffle. They were good. Don had two. He said I should do this every day.

We watched the first part of a long western movie: Lonely Dove, Don's favourite. Naturalistic pictures: chickens, pigs, farmers, reminding me of life in my village in Transylvania.

2009-11-23T07:52:00.000-08:00

Julie picked me up at 11:30 and took me to lunch to a place on Broadway. I had crépes with pieces of fruits wrapped in it. Very delicious, we have to make them at home. Julie used to be a social worker, her last workplace was at the veterans' institute. She is an adherent of Eastern philosophies, you can tell that. Since June she is retired, learns Tai Chi at a place where they teach Eastern martial arts, too. During lunch I explain my analytic theory on the Holy Trinity: dynamic relationship between the Super Ego, Id and actual self.

We had a long walk in the neighborhood. Julie used to live in one of these houses while a student. She told me about her uncle who understood the creation literally. I told her about the communist system of free health care: slipping envelopes with money in them in pockets.

We assembled a shelf with Don. During dinner my hosts told about their family stories. I realize: in America everyone still carries his or her own ethnic heritage while searching for a universal connection. The word nation here means something utterly different than in Europe.

During the night we saw Pat's favourite movie: Driving Miss Daisy.

2009-11-22T07:02:00.000-08:00

I asked Pat to take me to a Vancouver worship service. This is going to be a Buddhist one. We introduce ourselves. Patrick leads the choir. Topic of the service: the sound. How the sound of your voice speaks about your mood, your state of mind, and your character.

I compare the humanistic lectures with the worship service, note the symbolic elements, meditate on the ambivalence of using them: connecting and separating. Note the parallel of Francis David's dealing with the problem of using symbols. Patrick also gave a lecture on singing. We learned a sing-along with the choir. I note an interesting custom: rubbing hands together instead of clapping. Meditation: think of a beloved one, call out his/her name aloud... think of the humankind.

On our way back Pat showed me the college where she used to work 17 years as a councellor for the students. She was picked out for this new job from 350 people. Her specialty: women's rights. In a time when this used to be a difficult issue. She was recognized as the mother of the women's rights movement, they organize meetings each year, several thousand attending on these occasions. After she retired she missed the community, this is how she found the First UU in Portland.

2009-11-20T05:07:00.000-08:00

I discuss with József my nomination to "Theological Workshop". We go to Cuba Night with Pat. We see the movie "Lista de Espera" (The Waiting List).

Interesting movie. It reminded me of the Romanian communist era. Thus the meaning is obvious, I try to explain it to Pat on our way home.

2009-11-19T05:02:00.000-08:00

Walk by the Willamette and Columbia river, in Kelley Point Park. Following Pat's example we gathered all kinds of trash from nut-sized to suitcase-sized ones.

I've been talking to John about meditations. I explained my theory: it is a common misunderstanding that meditation means emptying your mind. I would better call it: attainement of instinctive perception of the reality. The most adequate description of what I understand it to be I found in Henry Clarke Warren's: Buddhism in Translations. It includes a description of the technique of the "earth-kashina meditation". This is in fact a practice to reestablish an ideal natural state of mind, just as the breathing practice connected to it is also an endeavour to reestablish a relaxed normal state, of "being present" to your senses.

We had a tea in Saint Johns and did some shoppings in a Mexican shop.

At 7:30 p.m. Reed College, Psychology Building, Greg M. Epstein book presentation: Good without God - A Positive, Humanistic Approach to Non-Belief. I was early one and a half hour. Took a walk on the campus. I saw an announcement "Takács Quartet" a famous Hungarian group gives a concert on December 7: First Baptist Church, on 8th Reed College, Kaul Auditorium.

The conference room of the Psychology Building has a full house. No charge. By the pulpit a young group of people settles on the floor. There are people sitting on the floor in all the isles, I stand propped to the wall, barely able to move my feet. There are about 150 people. Elderly and young ones. Many of the latter are more interested in their iPhone though, than in the lecture. Greg is a young, agile guy, with egg-shaped head. Humanist minister of Harvard. He steps to the pulpit nonchalantly and starts his presentation. He tells about the story of his family in New York, about his father having books on all kinds of spiritual trends, being disappointed by all; about his mother, Cuban immigrant at 13, child of the hippy movement. Greg follows his older brother to the Jewish seminar, is disappointed, practices Zen, goes to China to learn the mantras on original language.

Then he speaks about the book. He admits: the title already implies a contradiction: it sounds negative although it bears a positive message. Youtube.

I notice that Greg does not use any kind of notices, speaks freely. He is a good, practiced speaker, who must have been prepared for these presentations accurately. Questions and answers follow. It is getting late, people start to leave, me too. I have a feeling we expected much but missed something essential.

2009-11-18T04:53:00.000-08:00

Maryann picked me up at 8 a.m. sharp. Drove to Camille's, and started out toward Tacoma. Beautiful countryside, it felt as if I was in Brassó, Transylvania.

In the glass museum we watched as a team of artists assembled three wineglasses into one artistic combination. Had lunch in a nearby restaurant, and watched another team creating the lower part of a huge goblet. Then we saw first the exhibition of an Indian artist and then another interesting one, created according to children's drawings of phantasy animals. Sometimes the kids added funny comments to their designs.

For dinner I prepared some American waffles and watched an old movie I chose: Some Like it Hot. I guess last time I saw it some 40 years ago.

2009-11-17T04:09:00.000-08:00

Took a bike ride to the Powell's. While in there it started raining. By the time I arrived home it was sunshine again. Had a big chicken leg with pickles, took a walk on the streets and thought about the connection of the theory of Francis David and Freud.

Dinner: Hungarian sausage, mashed potatoes, green beans. Afterwards the delicious flan for dessert.

2009-11-16T03:55:00.000-08:00

Visited Marilyn. I took a walk in Laurelhurst park, where we have been together 4 years ago, and this spring. Now it is fall, a cold wind carries the rotten leaves among the trees and benches.

The dog with two kinds of eyes received me with great enthusiasm. He leaned against my leg with all the weight of his body, and while we talked he layed his head on my lap, peeking out from under the rim of the table with one of his eyes. It was good to talk to Marilyn. She said she considered herself too, a humanist. We talked about his husband and his son, the movie he made on his climb of the Eiger. He also wrote a few books, published on several languages.

This night I took a walk in downtown and had a hamburger in MacDonalds.

2009-11-15T05:39:00.000-08:00

10 a.m. "New Coalitions", second part of professor Robert Schmidt's lecture. America's political partners today. Ambivalent relationship with Russia. Recognizing Cuba and cooperation with the South American political left.

Lajos sent me the first 50 pages. He also recommended a very good Hungarian article on religion and psychoanalysis written by a student on psychology. We made flan with Pat. Six weeks have gone, I still have four left.

2009-11-14T05:23:00.000-08:00

Latte, the dog of the children is here for a few days. I have never seen such a quiet and beautiful dog. He lays all day long on his cushion. Sometimes gets up, takes a walk around the house, watches me musingly with intelligent eyes, and goes back to his cushion again.

Discussion with Lajos at 4 p.m. This time I rode the bike to his home. His son Bandi, and his partner brought sandwiches, we had dinner and a nice talk. Bandi seems to prefer zen Buddhism, he is having arguments with his father, for whom Hinduism means the caste system. I enjoy the intelligent debate. I tell them about my translation. Bandi's partner talks enthusiastically about her new job at an environmental preservation institute.

2009-11-12T04:56:00.000-08:00

Thursday hike. It was a short walk, we lost our way because we didn't locate correctly the parking lot where we started from, but eventually an another group of hikers, the Steel Men, a jolly group of retired guys, enlightened us of our whereabouts.

Afterwards: Francis David. I finished the summary of the second book. Dinner: Hungarian sausages with mustard, mashed potatoes and boiled carrots. Don and Pat told me they have a Chinese daughter, too, who actually took part on the events of Tienan Square. We watched a documentary about Portland and neighborhood artists and a bike ride to high elevations.

2009-11-11T02:48:00.000-08:00

I worked on the book proposal, the summary of Francis David's theory. I still have 20 more pages. Nice sunshine, took a walk. On Broadway, leaning to a pole a young couple: both are over 70.

Walked downtown by the riverside. I watched a boat pass under Steel Bridge. Young homeless people under the next one, good looking, talking on phone in the sleeping bag. Took a walk downtown and realized I haven't even taken a real look around until now. Rain was coming, took MAX back home.

2009-11-10T02:08:00.000-08:00

I took a long walk on Broadway and Sandy Boulevard. Sat down in a bus stop and marvelled at the fact that I was here.

At 5 we left to have dinner with the Xi family. Pat and Don's "Chinese son" showed us his office and told about his story. He was 26 when he arrived in the US with $20 in his pocket. While studying here, the Tienan square events took place, the US government gave him a refugee status. He learned to assemble and fix computers. They have two daughters: Angela and Patricia.

Dinner is very delicious, five courses, traditional Chinese cuisine. Seems to be very close to the Transylvanian one.

2009-11-09T01:13:00.000-08:00

After we talked I rushed off to meditation. PROGRAM GUIDE:

Meditation - Practical Experiments in Centering the Mind/Body/Spirit. Several approaches to meditation will be offered in this class, with the goal of finding what you might be drawn to and what seems to work best for you. Experience and learn a variety of meditation techniques including: The Relaxation Response, Hindu and Buddhist Silent Mantras, Chant, and Kundalini Yoga. Wear comfortable clothes. Reading materials will be provided. Facilitator: Kristina Armetta - is a voice teacher, a UU choir director and a meditation teacher.

Facilitator this time: Katie Raditz. We were 10: 4 men, 6 women. Channing room. Chairs in a circle, table with "altar" in the middle. They tell about the course, the things they used and how everyone used to meditate. Meditation and breathing practice. Katie gave us reading material. We went out to the hall, read a few quotes hanging there, took a slow meditation walk in the old sanctuary. After settling down again we told about our insights. Katie reads a poem: Say I am You. We choose two lines and explain what meaning it carries for us. Another poem, James Wright: A Blessing. This is also analysed.

Dinner: Hungarian sausage, I have it with mustard as usual in Hungary. Don also tries it. "We will be half Hungarians by the time you leave. You should stay forever."

2009-11-08T08:07:00.000-08:00

Until 9:30 we stay in the bed, house is shaking, Patrick is fixing the skylight on the roof. I go out for a walk and take several pictures. It is good to roam the woods, brings back memories from Transylvania. Breakfast: fruit salad, eggy bread made by Patrick, with eggs from their own (!) chicken. Very delicious.

Patrick tells the story of his childhood compulsory problems: "walking the line". We go out to the empty riverbed. Magnificient scenery with a Q rushing off toward another dog in the distance. Screaming and shouting with no avail, but he comes back after all.

Going back, Susan and Patrick are thanking us that we spent the weekend with them. We are embarrased: we should be the ones to be thankful. In the truck again: playing word games, Q excitedly scanning the road ahead. At Patrick's house I say goodbye to Jacquie and Susan. Patrick takes me to the backyard to see the 4 chickens, producers of the eggs for the eggybread.

Patrick takes me home. I take a shower, wash my things. I realize this have been a transforming experience. After the impressing American civilization: the similarly impressing American wilderness. And a similarly civilised wild dog.

Don introduces me to Mike, his son. After four a clock we leave to Albany. I invited my hosts for a Hungarian dinner. We drove around the town for a while, made a telephone call eventually, and found Novak's Hungarian Restaurant.

Nice place, lots of people. We have chicken paprikás with Don, before that vegetable soup. Everything is Hungarian, I only have to add a little salt to the soup. Don seems to enjoy it too, they feel sorry there is no Hungarian restaurant in Portland.

I ask the middle aged woman if there is someone who speaks Hungarian. Only Papa Novák she says, but he comes only in the afternoon, or in case he has a guest from Hungary. She brings me the e-mail address.

2009-11-07T07:48:00.000-08:00

People start getting up at 9 a.m. Girls have coffe at the fireplace, I go out for a walk. Breakfast at 11. We go out for a walk in the rain. Enormous trees, moss, I feel in a fairy tale, expect to see dwarfs peeking out from behind the brushes. We get soaked in 5 minutes. Dogs enjoy themselves. We stop at a place where about 5 giants stand in a circle. Linger among them for a while, trying to guess their secret, experiencing the spirit of this natural chapel, Patrick's favourite place. I have my sandwich with Hungarian salami bought in a German grocery store. We go back to the cars, wet dogs are wrapped in blankets.

We hang our trousers above the fireplace, Patrick goes out to chop wood. I join him. We gather old boughs and put them on a rack to dry. Patrick splits huge logs with an ax and wedge. I feel good. Later on we play several games.

Dinner is vegetable soup, homemade bread prepared by Susan. Card game afterward, we enjoy it greatly. Q is everywhere.

2009-11-06T06:56:00.000-08:00

Today the two of us talked with Levente visiting in Madison, WI, on Skype. He in the middle, me on the West, you in Hungary. I made some shoppings in Fred Meyer's for $10. On my way back took a picture of this enormous pumpkin and a house under construction.

Don took me and Henryt to the PSU, where he used to be professor of accounting. Had dinner there. Students from all the world. I admired a young woman, who looked like as if she had just stepped out from the Arabian Nights. Her looks was mesmerizing.

Washed, packed. Pat gave me a rain trouser.

Patrick picked me up after 6 p.m. with a SUV. In their home two dogs greeted us. Patrick had to restrain one of them for a while. His name: Q. Restless dog. After he cooled down somewhat Patrick let him loose. Shouts erupted, he stuck his nose between my legs. Eventually, I greeted Jacquie and Susan.

After one and a half hour drive we arrived at the cabin. Surprize. Old building, I feel in a homestead out in the western wilderness. Patrick lights all the fires in one hour. Q rushes around like crazy. Huge fireplace inside, immense wood outside. We stepped back 100 years in time. This house is like a museum, every piece is a curiosity. People are chatting in front of the cosy fireplace. Susan and Jacquie too have some kind of experiences, or studies in spiritual sciences, meditations.

2009-11-05T06:45:00.000-08:00

Short walk with Pat to Mt Tabor. Mentioned my ideas on connection of philosophy, religion and psychology. Pat told me there are educational institutions which are more open to innovative spirit then others.

After coming back I took another walk. Bought a pack of Snickers. I enjoyed counting change with the Afro-American woman: neither of us proved to be too bright, nevertheless it was a mutual pleasure to figure out $3,49. During the night I wrote the book proposal, took a 10 minutes walk in the rain.

2009-11-04T05:38:00.000-08:00

I've been to the PSU with Joe. The course, The American Intellectual Tradition is the title of the book also, which they use. They discussed the two Great Awakenings, life and teachings of Jonathan Edwards (1730?), and Elmer Gantry after the War of Indepence (1790). (On Elmer Gantry see Sinclair Lewis' book. I recalled the movie I saw as a child with Burt Lancaster.)

I saw it interesting the way they had this class. It was similar to the church meetings and courses. Teacher: "When do you think the First Great Awakening took place?" "What was the cause and aim?" Eventually she summed up the answers. This is how the class went on, in a leasurely discussion. About 10 students, 2 retired persons (me as guest).

Joe introduced me to all the people. First, while we were waiting for the class to begin, to a guy looking like Sylvester Stallone, in his thirties, with eyeglasses. Then to other students, to the teacher, and even to the waitress in the snack bar on the other side of the street. She studied to become an English teacher. We talked to three students at the door, I mentioned my studies. It was a surprize how much these young guys were interested in spiritual sciences.

We had a lentil soup with Joe after course. It had some grated cheese on top, and mesclum salad in a side dish. I asked for a bread, too. The Vietnamese waitress brought some small buns with poppy seed.

I asked Joe about the American educational system. Primary school (1-8), high school (9-12), undergraduate school (4 év?), college, university. Grades: bachelor, undergraduate, grade, masters, doctorate. You can study whatever you wish, even skip degrees. This seems to me a jungle of opportunities. I felt good with Joe.

After the course I felt the same like after the humanist meetings. A sense of liberation and anger toward my memories of a totalitarian system. Then I realized the conflict our teachers had been trapped in. It was horrifying.

Realization: Unitarians dropped original sin, and with that grace too.

At home Don continued explaining: there is the PSU (Portland State University), the Oregon State University and the Oregon University. PSU is the largest (32.000), followed by the other two institutions with about 25-25.000. His son is attending a two year course at college, $8000. In case you are not from Oregon: $40.000.

After we talked I went out for a walk to think. I the evening I just roamed the streets in the neighborhood. Pat wasn't home, Don took me out for a waffle. We went to Elmer's, a nice, cosy, clean and spacious place. Big fireplace. Don and Pat used to bring their children here. I chose waffle with strawberries and whipped cream. It sounded good. The guy asks: "What would you like: sausage or ham?" I look at Don: don't understand... He says, "You can choose." I say, I got no idea, what would you suggest? Sausage. OK, let it be sausage. Guy asks: "How would you like the eggs?" Eggs??!... What kind of eggs?!... Looking at Don: what options do I have? They are laughing and saying both: scrambled eggs, and... OK, I say to the guy: let it be scrambled eggs.

There is a mini casino in the restaurant. This chain brings 1 billion in tax a year. They finance education with it. Indians also have these kinds of casinos, tax free. In return some give large amounts for public causes, some don't. They have their own police. The FBI comes only in case of felony. They do not like FBI, they think it often messes with their business without good reason. We also talk about Pat's family. Her father worked at a power plant, a project started during the depression by the government.

Dinner is ready: a huge waffle. Besides that: three sausages and the scrambled eggs. With a little bread it would be three meals at home. I look at the guy when he places the plates in front of me. He enjoys it. I switch plates, eat first the sausages and eggs. Very good, but without bread... The waffle is also excellent, but too much. I take home the rest.

I took a walk afterwards, and I thought I should write this down to you before going to bed...

2009-11-03T04:38:00.000-08:00

After 5 p.m. I took a walk toward the Willamette along Broadway. Warm evening, nice hills over the river. Full moon and stars above. Dinner: delicious steak, with potato, homemade Maroccan bread. Don and Pat mentioned they had a farmer friend in Montana, it's 20 hours by train.

I took a walk. Good program on the TV: the story of the humans started 5 million years ago. He walked on two legs 3 million years but his skull was flat, like a monkey's. 2 million years ago the climate changed and the size of the brain started growing.

Thinking on yesterday's experiences: religious authority means a restriction on instinctive life, which means self-supression. Facing the authority, adhering to reason and awareness means asserting your inner self. It brings a sense of independence and wholeness. You feel a more intimate connection to your inner self.

2009-11-02T04:34:00.000-08:00

We planned to meet with Joe at PSU. He explained it in detail where we were to meet, and still, I waited at the wrong place. It is shiny but it's cold. I have my warmest pullover on, while some walk barefoot in sandals...

During dinner with Don, Pat, Ingrid and Henry we had philosophical discussions. I mentioned about my translation, my insight and plans. "Árpád has an interesting idea" said Don, "there might be something to it. He thinks the problem with the UU is they do not have a unifying credo, as the Hungarian Unitarians." "We'll have to create one." "Árpád works on it." "You mean a theological credo?" "No", I said "time of theological credos has passed." "What then?" asked Henry. "Psycho-philosophy." They are laughing: "You asked for it Henry!"

The nature of the God-idea is difficult. "God is everything." - says Ingrid. "Well, yes, this is a nice philosophical explanation. But we are not to forget the practice. Fundamentalism is also about God..." Pat invited the company to see the hiking pictures.

Upon leaving Henry said with a smile: "We would like to have you for dinner sometime. We'll discuss the psycho-philosophical understanding of God."

2009-11-01T02:13:00.000-08:00

Noon, just came home from the humanists. I rode there with bike, across the Broadway Bridge. Getting used to traffic. The place was called Friendly House. At the entrance the same name tags. Small room, sat down in the back row. Similar people, most of them seem retired. About 100. After I sat down an elderly man came and asked if I was attending for the first time. Yes, I said, I was from Hungary. "Gulyás" "Csirkepaprikás", "Budapest" "Buda and Pest", he recites. He visited there, and liked it very much. He told me he would introduce the newcomers. When the program started he came right to me with a microphone. I had to tell my name, where I came from, and also that I found out about the HGP on the Internet.

The lecturer was a university professor over 60, a lively person. Title of his lecture: America's Role in a Multi-polar World. Northwest Humanist Monthly:

Professor Robert Schmidt will host a 5-part series on "New Directions in American Foreing Policy". Professor Schmidt will discuss what changes in American foreign policy might make for a safer world. Should America work more closely with Russia and Latin America? Should we recognize Cuba? What about a one-state solution for Israel / Palestine? How might we end the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan? What is necessary to deal with failed states and those that oppress their own people? This course will explore new options and changes in American foreign policy.

Flyer: Robert Schmidt has taught International Relations, Theology, and World Religions at Concordia University in Portland. He has a Ph.D. in Political Science and several graduate degrees in Theology. He has taught and lectured in Nigeria, Zimbabwe, Germany, Japan, China, Kazakstan, and India and also traveled in Russia, Ukraine, Slovakia, the Czech Republic and Mexico. He has lectured recently at Clark College, The Humanists of Greater Portland, the Senior Studies Institute, several Oasis classes, Terwilliger Plaza and at Willamette View.

He used a projector, flashing pictures, pointing with infrared light to maps. Very organized, vividly descriptive. He enumerated America's role in the world events after First World War. After the II. WW the US had mainly peace keeping role. Later on took part in several wars with different purposes. Today the US is not a hegemony anymore. Its interest in wars is not always humanitarian, but often has financial motivations. After lecture a half hour discussion: questions, answers, the microphone is passed around.

In the end program recommendations (e.g. Greg Mortenson, author of Three Cups of Tea is having a lecture in December). The host has a suggestion from the part of the community: there should be music too, just like in a church, but he adds: of course, he means classical and modern pieces. At the door a wooden bowl with banknotes. There is a form, I fill it in with my addresses. Gathering some fliers, saying hello to Dave.

Nice place, I had a good time. The humanist association (AHA) is a secular one - this is emphasized. There are many atheistic allusions (see the fliers), while there is an effort to create a community which has the same role as a church. They have Sunday meetings and ministers, who "officiate at weddings, memorial services, rites of passages, and counsel humanists and the community in ethical and philosophical questions, servicing as the humanist equivalent of traditional clergy."

I bought 4 pieces of fried chicken wings at Fred Meyer's: $3,56. Quite expensive. It was good but instead of tasting salty it tasted sweet.

Afternoon. A clear sky and bright sunshine. Bike tour to Columbia river. On my way there I had a gorgeous view of Mt. Hood and Mt. St. Helens. I took some pictures.

The sun was sinking fast, so I rode just as far as the river. Arrived back home in 45 minutes.

2009-10-31T07:06:00.000-07:00

UU Portland Leadership Retreat. PROGRAM GUIDE:

Religious Leadership in a Time of Transition. As First Church moves through its most important institutional transition in nearly twenty years, everyone will agree that effective leadership is critical. Do we have a shared understanting of this often-invoked value? Is a leader someone unusually accomplished in the work at hand, or are the qualities necessary for excellenet leadership distinct from job competence per se? If religious leadership is different from what the world at large means by leadership, what is the essence of the difference? Incumbent and aspiring church leaders are invited to an exploration of this exxential ingredient in the life of our spiritual community. Facilitators: Rev. Preston Moore - is a First Church Minister in Residence. Katie Radditz - is the Director of Adult Programs for First Church.

About 5 round tables, with about 35 people. We introduce ourselves, most of the people brought some kind of an object. I brought myself, as guest from the partner church. Lecture of Rev. Preston Moore. Writing questions and answers: what is important in the case of a leader.

Afterwards exercise. We are distributed papers: description of three cases. We have to imagine ourselves in the role of a leader, who has to bring decision.

It was an interesting experience. I had an idea what the leadership of a UU church was like, how they handled some issues. Now I understood why they said UUs liked to discuss, debate, and also realized how interested they were in psychological issues. Priority in one of the exercises didn't seem to have dying Martha but her pessimistic leader, whose likely death-complex they thought needed urgent treatment.

This was indeed a good day. I appreciated Preston's opinion: small groups are important, where new members can share their problems and they can be discussed, thus facilitating their integration into the community.

Afterwards I had a long walk in SE Portland. Checked out Next Adventure, recommended by John. Indeed, there are two kinds of socks: "perfect" and "slightly imperfect" ones. Perfect ones are $10-12, slightly imperfect ones: $7-8.

Halloween. Pumpkins all over the city, people in funny and morbid costumes. Homes clad in lamps. During the night kids came to ask for candies like during Easter in Transylvania. Lajos is advancing with the revision of my translation. We agreed that I would have to write a commentary. And an article about my stay.

2009-10-29T05:15:00.000-07:00

I send a few pictures of our hike today. We walked the same trail as we did with Camille 4 years ago (Multnomah Falls). John's wife used to be also a therapist, and worked with hypnosis. To our amusement he exclaimed that in his opinion hypnosis could be used for more useful purposes. We were wondering what he was thinking of, but eventually didn't find out.

Lunch at the foot of Multnomah falls. I had French onion soup. John asked me about my humanist principles. He thought of himself as an atheist. I explained the difference.

Tonight Patrick picked me up. He showed up with a pumpkin on the top of his head. Halloween gait. On our way we picked up his girlfriend, Sarah. At the potluck party of the Vancouver Church: pizza and juice. Adults, children, most of them in some kind of costume or funny Halloween accessories. There was a book sale, there, too. Dance in the room which actually is the sanctuary. Caller: Mary Devlin. Contra-dance is an Irish dance with French court dance elements. It took shape in the 1700's on the colonies. First we are shown the steps and correography, then the costumed ensemble starts playing the tune. We had four dances, then cookies, refreshments, and eventually an English waltz.

2009-10-28T04:19:00.000-07:00

Today hike with Joe and Maryann. We went as far as the zoo, and followed a trail about 4 miles (4T trail) until a big hospital (OSHU), then we took that cabin and rode down with it. Had dinner at McMenamin's. We talked about humanism, Ferenc Balázs, the only Hungarian humanist minister (1900-1937). Went up to Maryann's flat, I set up the Skype for her.

Dinner at home with Pamela, a colleague of Pat. It turned out that she also used to be a therapist for many years and is a member of the Oregon Friends of Jung. They have a lecture every month. This is the very organization I sent my e-mail to, and didn't have an answer. Pam promised to let me know when they would have their next program.

Patrick invited me for the next weekend. They have a cabin somewhere on the Mount Hood. As I understood we are going to spend two nights there. I have to cancel football with Don.

2009-10-27T03:00:00.000-07:00

Today I had a long bike tour. I went as far as the bridge crossing over to Vancouver. Turned around, crossed Broadway Bridge, rode around downtown, crossed Burnside Bridge, rode up and down the streets on the SE, eventually emerging at Lloyd Center. This must have been about 30 miles or so. After supper I went out for a walk until 8:30, and then we watched an interesting documentary on TV about a large family in Turkey, several members with serious psychological handicaps (handwalkers).

Patrick wrote an e-mail, he invited me to the Friday night contradance lesson at 6 p.m. at the Vancouver Church. He told me their congregation is not so traditional like the First UU in Portland. They are closer to Buddhism than to Christianity. He sent me the address of the website, here you can see him as the Music Director.

2009-10-26T00:05:00.000-07:00

Bike ride as far as Columbia Boulevard. Dark clouds are gathering, thunder rips through the air, I turn back. Starts raining, I find shelter under a tree. An old homeless-looking guy with a bike joins and we endure the hail together. It stops, I leave the tree, it starts raining again, I linger for a while under the roof of a bus stop.

2009-10-25T02:23:00.000-07:00

Before worship service: coffe hour. I talk to friends and meet Patrick. He is the music director at the Vancouver Church now.

Sermon: Rev. Preston Moore Minister in Residence: The Spiritual Crisis Everyone Calls a Financial One Enews: America's financial woes are not a matter of illiquidity, hyper-leveraging, or ill-considered deregulation. At bottom, they aren't even financial. As we approach the first anniversary of the stock market implosion, our leaders continue to skate across the surface of the problem. We need to look deeper. When will the churches begin to show leadership in addressing the spiritual crisis underlying the financial one?

Preston used to be a lawyer. His sermon includes a detailed financial analysis.

3 p.m.: organized by The Humanists of Greater Portland, Portland Hollywood Theatre: In the Shadow of the Temple, premier. Quote from the website:

The film documents the struggles of people who leave the Mormon church and the price they pay in their personal lives. This is not just a Mormon story. Any society, organization or system of belief that restricts freedom of thought and action exacts a toll on the human spirit. What price would you be willing to pay to have the freedom to say, “This is what I believe, this is how I want to live.”?

Room 3/4 full. First there is a historical introduction about Joseph Smith, his many wives and his Church, followed by interviews, personal stories. Sagas, dramas, disillusionments, inner conflicts. People tell about the price of belonging to the community, how the church limited their freedom. The struggles they had, and how they came to realize that the Church was "not true", and how difficult it was for them to leave it. "It was as if I had thrown myself in the Grand Canyon." - says a man. "But as I was falling I realized I had wings."

Afterwards the producer told about the story of the idea of the film, the hurdles they had to cope with in choosing the people and making the interviews. He answered questions. (It turned out there were many ex-momons in the theater, some who were still church members, and some who had a mormon partner and had difficulties.)

People's favourite line was the one told by an Afro-American woman, divorced from her husband: "I thought I was more for him than a mormon." The documentary featured a couple. The woman left the church while her husband remained a member. "Sometimes I feel I lie down with Joseph Smith" she says. Nevertheless they hang on to each other. The movie ends with him saying: "I believe over there we'll realize that we were all wrong..."

2009-10-24T04:11:00.000-07:00

We continue the course next day. I notice the way Nancy answers personal questions. The woman of yesterday asked: "From where am I supposed to start my new life?" Answer: "From where you are right now." (I register the answer for myself.)

We are listening to music, make a drawing with the story of our life, explain it to our chosen partner. Which were the high and the low points, how could we deal with the difficult times? My partner is Helen.

We stand in a circle, Nancy pulls from her suitcase a small monkey. She explains the rules. Everyone chooses a different person as partner. We are to look into her eyes, call her name and throw the thing. It goes around, and again. After the second round Nancy pulls out another piece, and yet another and another. Monkies, frogs, dinos and the kind fly in the air while we work hard catching and passing them on. Having fun. A good refreshing game.

In the end of the course everyone tells about her experiences.

This course was very good! Actually, I realized, its goal was the main issue of my own trip. Nancy is very nice. I told her sometimes I understood only half of what was going on. She reassured me she didn't notice. She started her monkey-throwing on me. Although I've been a guest, I felt part of the group.

2009-10-23T01:23:00.000-07:00

Friday night. PROGRAM GUIDE:

Mindful Transitions: Cultivating Compassion during Times of Change. Psychologist and mindfulness meditation teacher Jon Kabat-Zinn defines "mindfulness" as "... paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally." Join us for a workshop on meeting life transitions with intention and compassion. Learn about the stages of transition, ways to cultivate compassion, and how mindfulness can enrich the transition experience. Facilitator: Nancy Olson - is a Life Coach and group facilitator and past First Church administrator. Details: Friday: Oct. 23, 7-9 p.m. and Saturday: Oct. 24, 9.am. - 3:30 p.m.; B102 Fee: Pledging $35 / Non-pledging: $50

Same room, same setting. We were about 12 persons. Some are already familiar from the previous course. Most of them elderly and middle aged women. We introduce ourselves and place on the "altar" the object which represents compassion for ourselves. I didn't bring anything, because compassion for me is a spiritual issue. (Note: let me add again: F.D.) We enumerate associations connected to compassion. Nancy writes them on the board. We discuss it. Create small groups of 3. One of us is a nice woman, it turned out she never had a partner. I was wondering why. She wondered why I wondered.

2009-10-22T04:48:00.000-07:00

Hike to Opal Creek with Pat and Ingrid. Waterfalls, crystal-clear pools, abandoned gold mines. On our way we talked about therapies. Ingrid told me about her life. She came from Germany, practiced therapy in New York, applying a version of William Glasser's theory. She told me about some details (What are you going to do about it?), the financial aspects of the therapies. (Later on she gave me two books: Hannah Arendt: The Human Condition; Albert Ellis, Catharine MacLaren: Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy.) I told her about my experiences on the course.

On our way back we had a pie and a tea in a restaurant.

2009-10-21T00:12:00.000-07:00

Dinner with Ingrid and Henry. Vegetarian food: a kind of a spaghetti, boiled mushrooms and salad with bread.

2009-10-20T00:10:00.000-07:00

Gardening around the house, cleaning the bike. I went to find out where Hollywood theater was. After lunch had a bike ride, and again gardening. Don read my book proposal. He made 20 pages out of my 3 ones, according to the template he downloaded from the Net.

Csaba offers that the Unitarian Congregation of the Danube-Tisza Dispersion will finance the Hungarian version of Francis David's work: "I'm afraid I'm one of those who do not know Francis David. I'm going to make up for it now." He takes me on the list of those who are for the fusion of the Hungarian Church.

2009-10-19T00:01:00.000-07:00

Got on the bike and found the place where the humanists have their meetings (Thurman/SW 26th - Friendly House). Took a tour of downtown. On a soccer field small kids were playing a game, on another one American football, and yet on another one womens' soccer. Spent a few minutes watching them. From there drove down on Salmon Street all the way to the fountain, turned left, crossed Broadway Bridge, turned South, drove until the beginning of a bike trail, where I turned back. Don and Pat were already home. I installed the new mirror for the bike Don gave me. (He mounted a lamp too.) Dinner: scrambled eggs with grated potatoes and quadrangular buns with butter.

I wrote to the humanists and Oregon Friends of Jung to the addresses I found on the websites. Asked them if I could attend some of their meetings. Reply from Dave DiNucci:

Arpad, Thank you very much for your interest! You are very welcome to attend any or all of our programs with no charge. (If you feel like making a donation, there is a basket, or "salad bowl", to accept it, but it is not at all mandatory.) I am not familiar with the Church of Religious Humanism, but now that I look at it on the web, it is somewhat different from our approach. Terms like "God", "faith", and "church" are not commonly used here, but I assume that the basic principles (as expressed in the Humanist Manifesto), are similar in both, and based firmly in reality. We look forward to your visits, Dave.

2009-10-18T06:52:00.000-07:00

In the church. Before worship service coffe hour. I met with Paul. He told me he planned to create a coat of arms of the Hungarian Church and to take part on a next trip to Hungary in the spring with Cecilia. Camille took part on a meeting. I greeted Marilyn Harlin.

Sermon: Rev. Preston Moore Minister in Residence: What's Justice Got to Do With It? Enews: What is the place of justice in our firmament of spiritual values? Does justice mean the same thing to a religious person that it means to everyone else? Come consider the difference it makes when justice gets religion.

12:45 Downtown UU History Tour. PROGRAM GUIDE: This fun and informative walking tour will cover our church's history from our pioneer beginnings in 1866 to the present. We'll start the tour in and around our church buildings, stroll through the Park Blocks and into Downtown to visit sites important to our church's story. You'll learn about our early leaders and important milestones in our long history here in Portland. This tour is wheelchair accessible and is held rain or shine. Facilitator: Kate Brickey - is a First Church member and a long-time volunteer with Urban Tour Group.

8 persons took part in this program. Maryann was there too, as a "steward". I was talking to her before the program started. A woman asked me in Hungarian: "Hogy vagy?" (How are you?), and counted to ten. We visited the sanctuary. Kate explained the symbolism of the decorations, the history of the organ. Then we walked over to the old sanctuary and stopped at the pictures of ministers, where she told their brief story, work and importance in the community's life. Most famous is the first one: T.S. Eliot. He initiated and contributed to the founding of numerous institutions (library, college) and buildings. Afterwards we took a walk around the church. From her suitcase Kate took out drawings, plans, pictures. On one of them the inscription on the spire decoration reads: "Man goeth where the wind bloeth." We took a walk around downtown.

On my way home on the MAX I was sitting by a young guy. He was talking to me all the way. He wished to be a writer and explained what he thought the ideal novelist should be like. When I left him he thanked me for listening.

2009-10-17T05:27:00.000-07:00

PROGRAM GUIDE:

Lil Hosman: Choosing Your Way
This one-day workshop will introduce you to the ideas of William Glasser and his work in Reality Therapy. Choice Theory will provide a method for: understanding why we behave the way we do; planning with others in a way that allows all involved to get their needs met; understanding why we insist on repeating non-productive patterns in our lives; and teaching ways to communicate with others, without putting them on the defensive. Plan to have fun while you participate in a variety of learning activities, get connected with others in First Church, learn about yourself, and walk away with usable communication tools. (Bring a sack luch.)

Facilitator: Lil Hosman - is a First Church member and faculty member of the William Glasser Institute who has taught and trained internationally with schools, social services and mental health organizations. Details: One Saturday: Oct. 17; 9 a.m. - 3 p.m.; B102. Fee: Pledging $35 / Non-pledging: $45

Room B102 is on the ground floor of the new building (Buchan Building). Chairs in a circle, writing board, tea, coffe, cookies. We are 13 people, including two therapists, too. Friends arrive: Linda and Ralph, I am glad to see them.

We introduce ourselves and the object which we brought to represent ourselves. I brought nothing because for me symbols are those things we hide behind (let me add: in accordance with Francis David's theory). Lil Hosman explains the Reality Therapy of William Glasser. She reads a poem by Portia Nelson: Autobiography in Five Chapters. She asks questions, writes our answers on the board and then makes conclusions. We are to make a drawing of our life story. Lil uses coloured pieces of cloths with inscriptions symbolizing main ideas of William Glasser's theory, and she places them on the floor, thus reconstructing relationship of the individual and environment. The method has a main point: you are to ask the right questions and refrain to suggest solutions. The patient has to find them himself. Most important question: "And what are you going to do about it?"

During the break we went out for a walk in pairs to have a talk about ourselves. We had to listen and then tell our story. I told my partner about the Hungarian Unitarianism and my project.

Afterwards: exercise. We chose partners and became therapists and patients. First, I was supposed to play the part of a 14-year-old under the overwhelming influence of his mother, and a small elderly lady was my therapist (later on I met her again on several occasions). Then I was supposed to ask my 60-years-old overweight patient how many pounds he wanted to loose. Instead of that I'm afraid I started psychoanalysing the poor guy, anyway, I took a great pleasure in immersing myself in the mysteries of my partner's imagined problems.

Afterwards Lil had a personal therapy discussion with Ralph and with one of the therapists so that we could have an idea what the theory looked like in practice when applied to a real case.

This is the first time I took part in a therapy course. In the end I said goodbye and thanked Lil for receiving me as a guest.

2009-10-16T05:23:00.000-07:00

I could sleep until about 6 and read until 8:30. Went out to the beach but turned back. It was raining. We went again to make a telephone call to you. I read, wrote some e-mails to you and Joe Ben-David. Camille vacuum-cleaned the house, packed up. On our way I invited her for another great hamburger in that old pub.

2009-10-15T03:34:00.000-07:00

I had a good night rest. Woke up twice but went back to sleep instantly, until after 5. I was reading the autobiography of an eskimo given to me by Pat (William L. Iggiagruk Hensley: Fifty Miles from Tomorrow: A Memoir of Alaska and the Real People). When Camille woke up I went out for another walk.

I asked her if there was a telephone booth nearby. She took me to a small town. These American villages are so much different than the European ones! We entered a big shop where you could find all kinds of tools, fishing implements, old style stoves, fridges, and so on.

On our way back Camille dropped me on the beach 3 miles from home. I had a good walk. There was a light drizzle, I saw two seal carcasses. At one place I found myself surrounded by the ocean. I had to run backwards a long way to escape from the trap. Enjoyed walking.

Camille is making necklaces with a kit. There's a huge magnifying glass, set up as a microscope, and she works underneath. I was reading newspapers and magazines about the recently published Red Book of Jung (and a police report about two stray donkeys "making asses of themselves" on the highway). Camille mixed some cucumber for soup. I prepared some waffles.

After lunch we drove to the end of the peninsula and saw the oldest settlement, Oysterville. It was founded in 1854, I saw a house built in 1863. We visited a cute old wooden church. Men were separated from women with a plank in the middle. The walls were also of plain wooden boards. There was a community hall there in the village, which used to be a school. From the distance it looked like a barn with windows. It was locked, we peeked through the door. Camille told me this place used to be the county seat. During an election a few horsemen from the neighbouring village rode in and simply stole the records.

We drove as far as the farthest end of the peninsula. It was low tide, lots of sea-weed, and thousands of birds. Two guys passed us with buckets and some kind of tools, and walked into the ocean. They waded and waded in the quiet waist-deep water, until they got smaller and smaller in the distance. There are many oyster-farms there, you can see lots of heaps of shattered oyster shells. They use it for the road pavements.

We came back and I went out to the beach. Walked from 5:30 to 6:30. On my way back, among the bushes I saw the largest mushroom I have ever seen. Supper: baked potatoes, chicken breast and vegetables. Discussion topic: church and man-woman relationship. We saw a bloody movie: Robin Hood, with Kevin Costner.

2009-10-14T03:18:00.000-07:00

Driving toward Long Beach with Camille. On our way there she told me that several people were interested in the book, Tom, too. They said it would have a larger public than the Unitarian one. They asked Camille if I wanted to have a book presentation. I told her, only when it would be published.

It was raining all the way, but it cleared and started shining as we approached. We got out midway close to the ocean shore, and walked along a high wooden walk-way above the grassy dunes. We saw a whale carcass by the walk in memory of Lewis and Clark who found a dead whale nearby. Camille bought a newspaper in a shop. We talked about old skits (Laurel and Hardy).

In Astoria we shared a hamburger in an old sailor pub. It was the best meal I ever had in the US so far, and a glass of beer, too. Camille introduced me to the waitress, telling her I was from Hungary. The woman: "I thought he was from somewhere." Camille told me about the history of the pub. There was a trapdoor somewhere in the floor, the drunken guys were dropped in the cellar from where they were loaded onto ships. Next morning they woke up heading to China. "They got shanghaied."

We crossed that long beautiful bridge over Columbia river to Washington state. After we arrived, first thing, I went out to the beach. Camille accompanied me just as far as the end of dunes, to make sure I would recognize the sign to find my way back. Her hip hurts, cannot walk on the sand. She plans to have a surgery next November. I took a long walk and came back, then went out again after a half an hour to take some pictures for you before the sunset.

During the evening I showed the book to Camille, too.

2009-10-13T03:13:00.000-07:00

Pat took me to Columbia Sportswear (Sellwood Outlet). I bought a rain jacket for $49.90. My new debit card worked. Please, check my account.

2009-10-11T02:51:00.000-07:00

We have been to the church, met several friends (Dana, Maryann). Pat introduced me to Katie Raditz (Program Guide Editor and Director of Adult Programs). She told me I could take part for free in all the programs and courses as a guest. She gave me another Program Guide and recommended me several programs.

During the worship service I was introduced and there was a fire drill. The siren sounded and with the leadership of Tom the congregation marched out to the street and after a few minutes back again. Prelude: Handel Sonata no. 1. for Flute and Piano. Hymn #1024, Mark Slegers is directing the music: When the Spirit Says Do.

Sermon: Rev. Tom Disrud: The Rage Without Met by the Wings Within. Electronic Newsletter: The title is a phrase from William Stafford's poem "In Response to a Question." How do we best respond to a world of brokenness and suffering? How is it we meet the challenges of our days?

Don took me to lunch. We agreed to send the translation to Beacon Press. After lunch Symphony: The Great Gershwin. Jon Nakamatsu, pianist and Doug LaBrecque, vocalist. Conductor: Jeff Tyzik.

I Got Rhythm, Embraceable You, They Can't Take That Away From Me, An American in Paris, Catfish Row, Fascinatin' Rhythm, Our Love Is Here To Stay, Swanee, Rhapsody in Blue.

Dinner at Don and Pat's daughter. Their grandson had his 18th birthday party.

2009-10-09T02:31:00.000-07:00

Patricia gives me the Program Guide of the Church for the fall season. On the cover a quote: And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. Anais Nir

Dinner with Lajos Éltető and Susan. We uploaded the translations. I've been introduced to their son, Bandi, who helped move a piano. (Lajos gave it to a family who couldn't afford to buy one.)

2009-10-08T02:05:00.000-07:00

From nine a.m. hike to Eagle Creek with Patricia, Ingrid and Henry, Michael and Susan. In the creek large dying salmons. As we were walking along the path I talked to Henry, who used to be an English teacher, and lived in the largest cities of the world (New York, London, Paris). He was interested in my translation, asked me to send it over when it would be revised, and offered his help, too. While driving back I tried to explain to him my concept on applying the modern psychological theory of the self on religion.

(During the night I chat with Tibi in Romania, Peter in Hungary, and do dozens of push-ups.)

2009-10-07T03:05:00.000-07:00

I accomodate myself, connect the laptop to the wireless network. Check my e-mails and do my work for the cable tv. Go and take a few walks in the neighborhood.

Tonight, after dinner I showed my translation to Pat and Don. He looked up for the address, templates and submission guidelines of several publishing companies on the net, and offered his help in preparing the book proposal. I tried to explain to Pat some of the ideas of Francis David, the historical background in which they took shape. Also, tried to explain my psychoanalytic understanding of the idioms "Father" and "Jesus Christ" in Francis' work: the authority we inherited from our parents, and our relationship to it.

2009-10-06T01:55:00.000-07:00

Arrival to the Portland airport. Randy comes to pick me up. We arrive at Pat and Don's home at 9:30 p.m. My hosts are away on a trip at Crater Lake.